Farplace Latest News
Published: 24 April 2026
All Hail Queen Catsie… Ruler of Blankets, Destroyer of Feather Toys, Seeker of Forever Homes Greetings, humble humans.
I am Queen Catsie. Yes, that Catsie. Please try to remain calm.
I am currently accepting applications for loyal subjects (you may call yourselves “owners,” I will allow this for morale). My kingdom currently consists of a rescue space, but frankly, I deserve a throne… ideally near a radiator… with snacks.
My royal qualifications include:– Expert-level lounging (gold medal, undisputed)
– Cardboard box guarding
-Random zoomies to keep your reflexes sharp
– Selective affection (you will earn it… and it will be glorious)
Now, while I am clearly the star of this operation, I must reluctantly inform you there are other fabulous rescue cats also seeking their forever kingdoms. Yes, yes, they are wonderful too. We can share the spotlight. Briefly.
If you think you are worthy of my presence (or one of my equally charming comrades), you may begin your quest by contacting my royal assistant:
louisehagri@gmail.comRequest a questionnaire. Fill it in thoughtfully. I will know if you rush.
Adopt me, and you shall receive:
Endless companionship
Endless amounts of sass (included at no extra cost)
A tiny, purring overlord who will absolutely steal your heartChoose wisely, human.
— Queen Catsie